Months before I read the first adoption blog I used to follow a couple children with Trisomy 18. Part of me was intrigued and knowing how the medical community treats those born with chromosome abnormalities angered me. Some surgeries that CAN fix some of the issues are often denied and IF the parents did not fight so hard the child would die. Regardless if the child is born with 46 chromosomes or 47 he/she is someone's child. It angers me the parents are made to feel that their child would be a burden if the child has a chromosome issue or birth defect. If the parents are aware of possible issues and choose to continue a pregnancy their child won't be a burden.
Yes the parent might get overwhelmed at times and have to continuously fight with the medical community for needed treatments, equipment and services but it's for their child's well being. It's frustrating that some diagnosis and children are denied life.
And then I learned about international adoption. I read the first adoption and heard about some of the appalling conditions in EE Orphanages and Institutions for those born with chromosome abnormalities, Cerebral Palsy, Cystic Fibrosis and another other diagnosis the child is declared "imperfect". These children are locked away from society and forgotten about.
If it wasn't for outsiders (foreigners) adopting and raising awareness, hundreds if not thousands of innocent children would die alone in the only environment they've ever known. The child's potential never known, locked away in a world most of us will never see. Without a family to call their own or someone who love them. A very world that existed once in our country less than 40 years ago.Thank goodness American children with disabilities are no longer hidden away.
I can't imagine the hopeless feeling of walking away because there is no resources available to care for a disabled child.
Adoption is a good thing but I started noticing things in regards to an adoption ministry. When a family starts the process they have support and guidance from others. Once the adoption is complete the support system disappears or falls away.
I've noticed because of photolisting a childs actual diagnosis can be misleading or very incomplete. And I've noticed those adopting without using the ministry's in country contacts are paying less in "official" fees. Sometimes it's 10k less. And I've found blogs that the facilitator acted like a thug towards the family.
If the family questions the Adoption Ministry, the adoption process stalls. As long as the families remained obedient and silent there was no delays.
Most of the EE countries frown on photolisting on 2nd and 3rd party websites as Preselection of children is forbidden. And until the official referral is given and adoption completed that child is not your child.
I have respect who go outside their comfort zone to give a disabled child a home. Like a parent who continues a pregnancy even when there is abnormalities, the child is very much wanted. But as long as the child is safe and in a home , that's what matters in the end regardless of how it happened.
Another reason I care is because of my friend's biological daughter Jessica. Had she been born in an EE her life might of been spent in an institution. My friends pregnancy was normal and uneventful, she was young and expecting her first child. During a very long labor the Medical staff failed to notice when J's heart almost stopped. By time they intervened J was severely brain damaged because the cord was wrapped around her neck and left my friend unable to have another child. My friend was 24. Jessica spent the first 4 months of her life in a NICU. My friend fought for her severely disabled child and never excluded her from anything. She never allowed educators to put her in a corner and exclude her either. She fought for her child and continues to fight, Jessica will be 29 soon.
I care ....because I just do.
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