Behavior

Being an outsider to the adoption world, I should be the last person to offer an opinion about behavior but here goes nothing....

When you visit a child in their groupa or orphanage you are in their environment not yours. They know their boundaries there and what they can get away with. They may approach you with smiles and to see if you brought anything.

Can you imagine being in a place for months or years with no interaction with the outside world except for those who work there ? To live in an orphanage where nothing belongs to you and every second of your day is scheduled.  And then one day strangers come in to see you, offering gifts.  Each day your presented with new treasures and warm smiles. Their visits are frequent and afterwards you return to the only place you have ever known. Regardless of the neglect scenarios created in the PAP mind, you feel safe in the groupa.

One day the child feels safe in their home and feeling happy someone has come to visit just them. The next moment they are taken from the only life they've ever known. No wonder some meltdowns happen not long after gotcha day.

Regardless of what we feel about orphanages and potential neglect, the orphanage feels safe to them because that's all they know. They don't know their life is improving or changing. Even though your met with smiles and hugs each day, it must be terrifying to the kids to be ripped out of their home.

Just a thought....