I have come to follow and admire several families adopting from EE. To my dismay some did have public fundraising but paid for the bulk of their adoptions themselves. Some paid fully for earlier adoptions but needed some help for the lasts adoptions. I still feel some regard international adoption as a business and because of this it is corrupt. And it's just not EE but China and every other country that allows international adoption. It has become an industry in areas with alot of poverty, children are sold. But if international adoption wasn't available many of these children would parish without ever being loved. Children are denied medical procedures because they have special needs.
And before you think Americans would provide the care for all special needs think again. Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18 are denied care every day, they have an extra chromosome too. Their disabilities are greater but because of a cruel label , "incompatible with life", basic needs are denied unless their parents fight for them. Their parents spend weeks and months searching for medical support who will treat their children.Some Doctors in our country refuse to treat these kids but we condemn other countries for the same thing? It's a sad reality for special needs all over the world. Our policies and treatments for special needs may be better here but not much better.
One of my least favorite adopting families preselected a child on RR (which is forbidden in the child's country) from a photo. The child has Down Syndrome and asked during the official referral if it was actually DS. The family wasn't interested in adopting a child with Trisomy 13 or 18. I thought the whole point was trying to save a child? But yet the family was ready to discriminate against an orphan because of a diagnosis?
I will discuss my least favorite adopting families in another post . Back to my favorite families.
Some of my favorite families do blind adoptions meaning they don't know what child they will adopt when beginning the adoption process. Sometimes they find their child during their official referral, not before. One of my favorite moms wanted a referral for the child in danger of being transferred without seeing the child first. She had prior experience with DS and knew what to expect. She didn't create a fairy tale of a perfect child , because she knew the road ahead would be rocky and uneven at times. She knew about teaching kids with DS and started teaching during the 1st visit. She adopted again a year later, again a blind adoption and a child facing transfer. She's adopting again, allowing time between each adoption for the children to adjust. By doing this she's able to spend individual time with the kids. It's all about the kids, not her. She sets reasonable goals and celebrates when each milestone is met. Her expectations are realistic because she didn't go into the adoption clueless.
Kids with down syndrome can do almost everything others can do but at their own pace and in their own way. Set the goals small and celebrate each accomplishment. Encourage growth.
I've enjoyed reading about families adopting older kids, sibling groups and teens. The families have fought for these kids sometimes waiting years for the child to become available for international adoption. And even during the long wait the families keep in contact with the kids through snail mail, e-mail, Skype, texts and phone calls.
My favorite family I found needed a lot of help bringing their son home. I fell in love with their story. He's a perfect fit for their family.
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